One of Those Fucking Awful Black Days.

Like one of those awful black days
Silence takes over...everything
; Some solitude there
I didn’t like it but
Kept on going to the limit
When I know, I know deep down
It hurts to have, even a slight contact.

"Submarines" going up and down
Taking away life’s meaning
Like one of those awful black days.
There must be casualties, too bad i'm the casualty
; based on irrational emotional judgements

Place 1.5 milligrams of cocaine in front of you,
Enough to make you hallucinate
Now, place a 9mm bullet through your brain
Enough to make you free
It hurts but god I like it.

Some things are meant to be broken
And scattered to be figured
Some things are just cruel
Just to tell you that this is life

Like one of those awful black days,
My body is trapped; in a pause to be exact
Committing to everything I possibly can...but not you.

Like one of those fucking awful black days again
I miss the taste of strawberry cupcakes and iced vanilla
Or maybe butterscotch and the clicking sound of the camera

Like one of those fucking awful black days again
When everything seems so grey.

nota kaki:

kau senyum dengan sempurnanya, tidak memikirkan
hal orang lain atau apa yang telah kau lakukan.
senangkan, hidup macam tu?

aku pula senyum dengan penuh sinis,
masih fikir untuk menjaga perasaan orang lain
what a life lah.gila hitam putih.

Nota 3:55 am.

Jam dah 3:55 am, aku masih memikirkan apa nak jadi.
Coretan pada kertas yang aku dah simpan 5 bulan
Masih aku guna sebagai penggerak aku (kononnya aku hebat)
Lagu bermain tanpa henti macam babi, aku tak henti henti menyanyi.
Tapi kenapa berhenti bila semuanya terjadi? aku pun nak ikut mati?

aku tak kesah apa kau nak buat, janji kau rasa kau hebat.
Aku hanya nak nokhtah, kau buat aku nak muntah.


Gila
kau
imaginasi aku

aku kejam
hipokrasi kau



Tiap kali kau laporkan diri, aku rasa happy, tapi...
But aku masih tak senang hati memikirkan petak hati
Yang dah berbelah bahagi. Semua orang cakap tak
Takut mati, kepala gajah kau orang lah. Semuanya hipokrasi.
Bila luka di hati, berjahit sana sini rasa seperti nak mati.
Boleh pula kau rasa benda tu, tak malu ke kawan?

Bila kau lari laju laju, aku masih macam batu,
Tak tahu menahu mana nak ku tuju, tapi aku nak gerak laju.
Sebab dalam aku, masih ada perasaan nak tahu tentang you.
Mata seperti ada gam, berat tapi still nak angkat. Sebab aku tak tahu
Apa nak buat dengan buku buku yang lalu dan baju baju kau.

Haram jadah, satu message pun tak sampai, tapi berpuluh dah keluar.
Aku check pocket seluar, aku jumpa nota dia, ringkas tapi sakit "berjahit"
Jugak la. Koyak rabak di buatnya. Aku hanya manusia. Berilah kerjasama
Kawan.

hisap rokok bertalu talu, kepala aku dah tak tentu. Mata aku macam masuk shampoo; pedih. Badan aku dah tak berlagu, macam hantu bergerak tak tahu arah tuju. Sekarang aku tahu, dah tak malu, aku nak main lagu sendiri pula

Kau tahu aku tahu apa kita semua mahu, kau tahu yang aku dah tak macam dulu.
Aku tahu aku masih "disitu" sedangkan kau dah pun pantas mendahului aku
Se-simple nya, kau dah Hilang hati kau.

Dull But Wonderfull

Just like post-rocks, when it started to play,
My skies turned mellow and
It was windy out there.
It reminds me, of who I wanted to be,
It just reminds you in a way,
Everything seems dull but wonderful at the same time.

Like dried grass on my lawn,
Dried, but still alive.
A person only needs a small amount of
Food to live,
Doesn’t matter if its food for your soul or
Body, as long as the person eats it.
They shall live.

I envy the birds in the morning,
They sing, dance, and play with each other
And none of them had a fight or heartbreaks.
And it breaks them from us; they have a happy ending
That last forever.

Drifters.

It’s like a poison in our mind
Poisoned by their images
We’re always in fear of them,
Floating in time of lost hope
and faith

It’s just a hallucination, frame by frame
Since just now we wait and wait
It has been a long night for us
Why not take a pause for now.

Like songs that reminds us of things
It’s something we have to get use to.
It’s tough but it’s also as soft as the clouds
But the truth is, we never touch it before
; Acting is part of forgetting.

Like at the peak of a song, it goes higher
Just like us, we go higher every time we fail
Like graphs we drew during math’s class;
Nothing in life move steadily.
Names and pains written all over the corridors, with tears

Like how you see a woman waiting for her train
Just like how you wait for someone to take you away
To drift in movements you’d never expect.
The way they hold you, so tight
You gain confidence over that because you know
They can take you anywhere without loosing you.

Fall lightly from the sky and follow wherever it takes you
Because for now, you are still falling
Somebody is surely going to catch you someday

Someday

Someone

Somehow

Somewhere

They will.

Because life cycles around you like that
It’s either one way or another.

Doesn’t mean you miss something means you failed
Doesn’t mean you fail to do something means you lose

There’s always a list in us
Tells us what we want and what we already have
Hold on the ones we already have, or the ones we use to have.
It could mean a lot someday.